Mute Commute !

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If there were any words
that could make it better
I would have said them
but for now if feels
silence is a crowd
and i’m its leader.
They say, they need me
but they want a mute commute;
for me to choose words
they chose for me
also the time
to speak those chosen words.

For me
For you
For them
mute is the commute
yes, mute is the commute.

-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE

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Journey !

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I talk to you all the time even if you can’t hear me.
I talk to you in the letters and words and phrases.
I talk to you in the sentences I scribble on the clouds,
telling you over and over again, of how much I miss you,
that for me nothing has changed.
I think about the time when we could say anything to each other
without thinking, the time when we were carefree
without letting any insecurities linger on us.
It feels like I’m in a time capsule,
where my heart has carefully preserved all the memories of you.
I don’t know, had it been easier, not having met you at all
but believe me, I wouldn’t have traded it for the world;
the time that had been mine, the time that we’ve spent together.

-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE

Humane !

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Feeling trapped in this body
finding myself terribly alone
people around me,
who are supposed to be mine
I don’t understand them,
despite sharing a common language
conversations based on prejudice and judgement
bizarre and humiliating it is
to divide humans on the lines of
religion, race, sex and skin colour.
These rituals, maddening remarks and
keeping cultural scores,
suffocating it is to be a witness
to this obsession of being superior
They say it is humane, it ain’t no wrong
and I feel absurdly and insanely lonely
so I resign from being too human.

-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE

Photo by Tom Barrett on Unsplash

 

And the mind replies !

 

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*This is the reply of the mind to the earlier conversation begun by the heart !*

You know me well
well than anyone else
probably will ever,
and so do I
I know you enough
to understand
how you function

I see you watching over me,
and I feel special,
but the world out here
is cruel, and you are sensitive
and considerate
I look out for you,
believe me I do
but in ways silent and cold.

When you speak those kind
words of comfort, I do hear you.
I want to hold you tight
and break in those soft arms
but I just can’t
I hold myself back,
fearing to hurt you in ways
difficult to comprehend.

When I am stuck with
constant thinking, unable to
realise your pain
I know that you still stand by me,
just to make sure,
whenever I need, you are there
with the sound of that
comforting heartbeat.

I feel the tears, when they roll down
the pain you feel, I sense that too
I know you want me to say something,
but I don’t.
I rather take your hands in mine
to make you feel,
that you are never alone.

Your eyes begin to well up
and you just break right in my arms.
I just want you to feel better,
the way you make me do.
I see all the layers of
pain, agony and discomfort
you carry behind those eyes
unfathomable and profound.

This is the moment we share,
a moment of silence
it speaks volumes,
for I might be a strong brain
and you might be a weak heart
but none can function
if the other is not there
to support and hold.

-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE

 

And the heart speaks !

 

 

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*This is a conversation the heart is trying to have with the mind.*

I have known you
ever since this story began
I thought you knew me too
but then you don’t.
To you,
I’m invisible.

I watch over you,
every single moment
trying to be sure
that you’re okay,
but then
you don’t see me.

I know you aren’t okay
so I call out on you
to give you some words
of comfort and care,
but no,
you just don’t hear me.

Whenever you’re down
succumbing lonely to the pain
I try to do everything
to take that frown away
but really,
you just don’t feel me.

I have looked for you
to hold me so many times now
that I have stopped the count
just wanting you to be happy
when tears are the only things
keeping me company.

Yet, somehow, you’re not aware
of me, the pain I carry,
the discomfort and agony I feel
I just don’t get it
how can’t you see
that behind this pain
is layers of suffering and hurt.

But again you don’t get it
cause, after all
to you, I’m nothing but
just a weak heart.

-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE

Re-align !

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The fabric of your shirt, that I held
between my fragile fingers, with eyes closed.
Suddenly a violent wave of your fragrance
rushed to my senses, bringing me to my knees
leaving me gasping for a breath of fresh air
the hole burning in my chest, the void unfilled.
You are so near, so close, yet so far
The pain in the ribs, gets unbearable
the lungs no more can take this magnitude of grief
breaking me to pieces.

Mournful sobs, leaving cracks in the bone
holes in the skin, until your hand reaches over
and gently wipes away the tears.
It gets better, much warmer and the air becomes
lighter and breathable
as you take my hands into yours.

I held you tight, tighter than ever before
burying my face in your shoulder
and letting all the pain just melt away
in that embrace, softly whispering
words- words of pain, regret, sorrow
love, and reconciliation.
Words expressing how much I missed you,
how empty have I been all along.
You nodded, you knew, cause you had felt it too
You too had been lost in the feeling of loneliness.

I let your embrace heal me, your laughter fill my heart
because with you beside me, your arms around me
all the broken pieces begins to re-align

And for the first time since that cold October evening
I felt like breathing again

-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE

Lonely thought !

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At the bottom of the pyramid
is where I lay
as I watch the sun go down
the horizon
and just like that
another lonely day of my lonely
being passes.

I lay awake in the company of
this unending sky and the million stars
staring at the moon, lonely as it is
despite surrounded by all the beauty
yet darkness is what
accompanies.

In these moments where my eyes witness this
my mind struggles with the thought that
if only I could capture your heart
may be then, just may be
you’d stay and we’d never would part ways.

Photo by Gabriele Motter on Unsplash

-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE