I talk to you all the time even if you can’t hear me.
I talk to you in the letters and words and phrases.
I talk to you in the sentences I scribble on the clouds,
telling you over and over again, of how much I miss you,
that for me nothing has changed.
I think about the time when we could say anything to each other
without thinking, the time when we were carefree
without letting any insecurities linger on us.
It feels like I’m in a time capsule,
where my heart has carefully preserved all the memories of you.
I don’t know, had it been easier, not having met you at all
but believe me, I wouldn’t have traded it for the world;
the time that had been mine, the time that we’ve spent together.
You and I
a mess, in separation
a melody in unison.
You and I
we are the chaos
that is fallen
into broken pieces
and in the middle of all this
you have captivated my soul
in a way,
no soul ever will.
*This is the reply of the mind to the earlier conversation begun by the heart !*
You know me well
well than anyone else
probably will ever,
and so do I
I know you enough
how you function
I see you watching over me,
and I feel special,
but the world out here
is cruel, and you are sensitive
I look out for you,
believe me I do
but in ways silent and cold.
When you speak those kind
words of comfort, I do hear you.
I want to hold you tight
and break in those soft arms
but I just can’t
I hold myself back,
fearing to hurt you in ways
difficult to comprehend.
When I am stuck with
constant thinking, unable to
realise your pain
I know that you still stand by me,
just to make sure,
whenever I need, you are there
with the sound of that
I feel the tears, when they roll down
the pain you feel, I sense that too
I know you want me to say something,
but I don’t.
I rather take your hands in mine
to make you feel,
that you are never alone.
Your eyes begin to well up
and you just break right in my arms.
I just want you to feel better,
the way you make me do.
I see all the layers of
pain, agony and discomfort
you carry behind those eyes
unfathomable and profound.
This is the moment we share,
a moment of silence
it speaks volumes,
for I might be a strong brain
and you might be a weak heart
but none can function
if the other is not there
to support and hold.
*This is a conversation the heart is trying to have with the mind.*
I have known you
ever since this story began
I thought you knew me too
but then you don’t.
I watch over you,
every single moment
trying to be sure
that you’re okay,
you don’t see me.
I know you aren’t okay
so I call out on you
to give you some words
of comfort and care,
you just don’t hear me.
Whenever you’re down
succumbing lonely to the pain
I try to do everything
to take that frown away
you just don’t feel me.
I have looked for you
to hold me so many times now
that I have stopped the count
just wanting you to be happy
when tears are the only things
keeping me company.
Yet, somehow, you’re not aware
of me, the pain I carry,
the discomfort and agony I feel
I just don’t get it
how can’t you see
that behind this pain
is layers of suffering and hurt.
But again you don’t get it
cause, after all
to you, I’m nothing but
just a weak heart.
The fabric of your shirt, that I held
between my fragile fingers, with eyes closed.
Suddenly a violent wave of your fragrance
rushed to my senses, bringing me to my knees
leaving me gasping for a breath of fresh air
the hole burning in my chest, the void unfilled.
You are so near, so close, yet so far
The pain in the ribs, gets unbearable
the lungs no more can take this magnitude of grief
breaking me to pieces.
Mournful sobs, leaving cracks in the bone
holes in the skin, until your hand reaches over
and gently wipes away the tears.
It gets better, much warmer and the air becomes
lighter and breathable
as you take my hands into yours.
I held you tight, tighter than ever before
burying my face in your shoulder
and letting all the pain just melt away
in that embrace, softly whispering
words- words of pain, regret, sorrow
love, and reconciliation.
Words expressing how much I missed you,
how empty have I been all along.
You nodded, you knew, cause you had felt it too
You too had been lost in the feeling of loneliness.
I let your embrace heal me, your laughter fill my heart
because with you beside me, your arms around me
all the broken pieces begins to re-align
And for the first time since that cold October evening
I felt like breathing again
At the bottom of the pyramid
is where I lay
as I watch the sun go down
and just like that
another lonely day of my lonely
I lay awake in the company of
this unending sky and the million stars
staring at the moon, lonely as it is
despite surrounded by all the beauty
yet darkness is what
In these moments where my eyes witness this
my mind struggles with the thought that
if only I could capture your heart
may be then, just may be
you’d stay and we’d never would part ways.
Photo by Gabriele Motter on Unsplash
in the sun
touching the horizon
portrays lovers embrace
colluded as one.
slowly morphing into one
creating a harmony
in the rhymes of their hearts
the sapphire sea
reflecting its colour
in the profound sky
blanketing them under self
while their lips concocting
in an enchanted kiss
Surrendering in the beauty of
twinkling stars in the emptiness
of the significant sky
the darkness descends
and shadows swallow all
of light’s trace
Reality takes a pause
the time stands at still
to the depths of their soul
where they swim
in the glory of love
the purest love, living in their heart.
Photo by Jacob Rank on Unsplash
Life has brought me to a point
where there is stillness in my eyes
I love this calm in them,
they don’t wander anymore
searching for something finite
choosing or not,
the little or big troubles
There is this void
which I have come to love
there is a silence in it
that I cherish.
It sings to me, taking me
into a world of peaceful stillness
bringing in front of me
places and times
beyond this dimension
away from all the chaos and chatter
There is a nothingness in my heart
which I have come to adorn
putting me into a blissful journey
of contentment and calm
Its as if I want it,
yet its nothing, that I want.
There is harmony that I feel withing
pulling the strings of my heart
to bring out a melody of my being
a harmony, that’s born out of chaos
synchronizing into beautiful notes
of calm and blissful song.
I embrace now that exists in nothing
where this universe already leads me to everything.
Photo by Özgür Akman on Unsplash
A corner table
a cup of warm coffee
and your conscious memories
the only solace to this heart.
Disappearing into thin air
feels just about right
wanting a chance to eat
warm bread just out of the oven
and drinking the warmest cup
of my comfort coffee
and just melt away in the embrace
of the stars and the sky grey
to fly and reach the land of my dream
in the womb of care and warmth
love and understanding
where just by the look of an eye
all the pain just melts away
where words are not spoken
but emotions are valued.
to run away from all the drama
and half broken feelings
to not correct others for their
non existant flaws
that are really of my own
personal balled up feelings.
I just want to disappear
from the ocean of my held back tears
from this fake shield of fearlessness
and multitudes of plastic smiles
where insecurities and reality
are seen and appreciated
with the naked eye and naked heart.
Yes, I just want to disappear
disappearing in the thin air
seems just about right
Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Unsplash