Trying to catch a feather
that is drifting away
tirelessly flying, effortlessly
a fine, light, and softest of all
a feather grey as time
carried away by the wind,
away, far away from your hold
Thinking hard, contemplating
this urge to hold on to it,
I found myself reaching to
a realization, that hits hard
this need is to hold,
hold on to something
that is tangible, and not
an idea of tangibility.
-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE
Photo by Paul Gilmore on Unsplash
Silence has a wide vocabulary,
difficult to comprehend,
ironical as may seem,
sometimes it is too loud,
a choir of confusion or
a tragedy in translation.
and then come those times
when it is so dead,
as if void of life,
that you cannot listen
your own heartbeat.
Never the same, it is
though may seem similar
always comes with different emotion
and changing circumstances,
always presents something new to unravel
beneath its layers of complexity.
it may be something you want to hear,
or you may fear to know,
something you were waiting to see,
or not, all along.
It may be a friend, constantly evolving
or a relentless enemy.
Form, fashion, manners, different or same
it will forever remain
the most welcome and also the most unwanted
part of our lives.
-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE
The darkness is me,
drives me closer to the
brightness I find in you
Feeling perhaps one day
I will make it to the place
where I feel everything is okay
Your smile tugs and soothes
my corroded heart
The sweetness of your being
completes me, despite my deficiencies
It just seems like yesterday
I slept slowly, in your embrace
where all the tiredness vanished.
Those lines on your collar
just taste perfect, and I’m just fine
cause I don’t want to overstep those lines
So tell me,
tell me what to say
before we fall in this pitfall of emotional grasps
from where there gets no escape.
So tell me,
tell me you have the right tools
to sync the time and destiny together
to make our fates meet like they never could before.
because the last thing that I want to feel is this way
that one of us will change, cause we both know we won’t.
I can’t help but to get these butterflies when I see you,
the butterflies feel like they are eating me from inside
And so what, if it isn’t real.
I’m like a frighten child, standing before a storm
I long for a hand, and hope that it would be yours
I’ve been dreaming of the day,
and the fear of its existence kills me,
The day when one of us realize
we are nothing more than two people from the past
where perhaps I’m not meant to last
and perhaps you are
And that’s why we are so far apart.
-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE
surreal, it is.
Isn’t it?
when something
unrealistically beautiful
captures your soul
It stays just enough
for addiction to kick in
and then, just when
surrendering becomes inevitable
it happens,
you know it in your heart
any amount of dwelling
wouldn’t be realistic,
you know it,
that it is the dark side of the moon
where there is cold, dark and no heat
cause there’s no sun.
Yet, you dwell
just a little bit,
just for some more time.
and you dwell,
yes, just for a little bit more…..
-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE
Love,
well love for you was in measurement
while love for me was exorbitant
I love you, when I would say
you’d ask me one question
how much?
I failed to answer you then,
but since then,
those answers came down to me
every night
knocking on my window.
and this is what I would have said to you
I would have blanketed the whole world
in sheer darkness
and then would have taken all the stars
together, just for you to see
so you would understand getting overwhelmed
with all the brightness of light.
I would have asked you to count one by one every beat
of every heart that has beaten the number of times
since the existence of living world
And while undergoing this admission
I would have looked into your eyes
and told you,
if only you’d let me
I would have loved you this much
and more, if that would be possible.
-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE
I talk to you all the time even if you can’t hear me.
I talk to you in the letters and words and phrases.
I talk to you in the sentences I scribble on the clouds,
telling you over and over again, of how much I miss you,
that for me nothing has changed.
I think about the time when we could say anything to each other
without thinking, the time when we were carefree
without letting any insecurities linger on us.
It feels like I’m in a time capsule,
where my heart has carefully preserved all the memories of you.
I don’t know, had it been easier, not having met you at all
but believe me, I wouldn’t have traded it for the world;
the time that had been mine, the time that we’ve spent together.
-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE
You and I
a mess, in separation
a melody in unison.
You and I
we are the chaos
that is fallen
into broken pieces
and in the middle of all this
you have captivated my soul
in a way,
no soul ever will.
-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE
*This is the reply of the mind to the earlier conversation begun by the heart !*
You know me well
well than anyone else
probably will ever,
and so do I
I know you enough
to understand
how you function
I see you watching over me,
and I feel special,
but the world out here
is cruel, and you are sensitive
and considerate
I look out for you,
believe me I do
but in ways silent and cold.
When you speak those kind
words of comfort, I do hear you.
I want to hold you tight
and break in those soft arms
but I just can’t
I hold myself back,
fearing to hurt you in ways
difficult to comprehend.
When I am stuck with
constant thinking, unable to
realise your pain
I know that you still stand by me,
just to make sure,
whenever I need, you are there
with the sound of that
comforting heartbeat.
I feel the tears, when they roll down
the pain you feel, I sense that too
I know you want me to say something,
but I don’t.
I rather take your hands in mine
to make you feel,
that you are never alone.
Your eyes begin to well up
and you just break right in my arms.
I just want you to feel better,
the way you make me do.
I see all the layers of
pain, agony and discomfort
you carry behind those eyes
unfathomable and profound.
This is the moment we share,
a moment of silence
it speaks volumes,
for I might be a strong brain
and you might be a weak heart
but none can function
if the other is not there
to support and hold.
-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE
*This is a conversation the heart is trying to have with the mind.*
I have known you
ever since this story began
I thought you knew me too
but then you don’t.
To you,
I’m invisible.
I watch over you,
every single moment
trying to be sure
that you’re okay,
but then
you don’t see me.
I know you aren’t okay
so I call out on you
to give you some words
of comfort and care,
but no,
you just don’t hear me.
Whenever you’re down
succumbing lonely to the pain
I try to do everything
to take that frown away
but really,
you just don’t feel me.
I have looked for you
to hold me so many times now
that I have stopped the count
just wanting you to be happy
when tears are the only things
keeping me company.
Yet, somehow, you’re not aware
of me, the pain I carry,
the discomfort and agony I feel
I just don’t get it
how can’t you see
that behind this pain
is layers of suffering and hurt.
But again you don’t get it
cause, after all
to you, I’m nothing but
just a weak heart.
-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE
The fabric of your shirt, that I held
between my fragile fingers, with eyes closed.
Suddenly a violent wave of your fragrance
rushed to my senses, bringing me to my knees
leaving me gasping for a breath of fresh air
the hole burning in my chest, the void unfilled.
You are so near, so close, yet so far
The pain in the ribs, gets unbearable
the lungs no more can take this magnitude of grief
breaking me to pieces.
Mournful sobs, leaving cracks in the bone
holes in the skin, until your hand reaches over
and gently wipes away the tears.
It gets better, much warmer and the air becomes
lighter and breathable
as you take my hands into yours.
I held you tight, tighter than ever before
burying my face in your shoulder
and letting all the pain just melt away
in that embrace, softly whispering
words- words of pain, regret, sorrow
love, and reconciliation.
Words expressing how much I missed you,
how empty have I been all along.
You nodded, you knew, cause you had felt it too
You too had been lost in the feeling of loneliness.
I let your embrace heal me, your laughter fill my heart
because with you beside me, your arms around me
all the broken pieces begins to re-align
And for the first time since that cold October evening
I felt like breathing again
-THEMOONLIGHTREVERIE
Themoonlightreverie 